Tuesday, August 26, 2008
First it was Bio. Next was Math. Both equally terrible. As consolation, at least I still have a chance to pull up the grades by preparing well for the subsequent papers. That shall be my salvation. It’s not over yet. I’m forging ahead. Besides, A levels is the ultimate judge of my fate, not prelims. Damn, I have to stop telling myself that. It’s like an excuse to do badly this time. Whatever it is, I am gonna do well for As. So much for idealism. That’s me.
It's a shame to be
so euphoric and weak
when you smile at me
'Cause your so disarming
I'm caught-up in the midst
of you and I cannot resist at all
Sunday, August 17, 2008
I’m giving up on prelims.
What have I been doing?
Don’t try to be my lifesaver. I’ve given up.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Studying is frustrating in so many ways. I’ll tell u why.
How is it not frustrating trying to find out the angles in an argand diagram u can’t even sketch? And even if u manage to, u just end up staring at it agape and totally hate complex numbers. How is it not frustrating when u do not understand why the hell the neuron needs to overshoot in hyperpolarization or why calcium ions keep flowing in and out all over the place? How is it not frustrating when u are stuck at identifying an organic compound and hence, can’t proceed identifying the other compounds B TO Z? How is it not frustrating when u feel like a loser in H3 econs while others seem to really know what the hell is coming out from their mouths? How is it not frustrating when u try to write a GP essay with a logical structure but it ends up being really free-style and amateurish?
There are so many more reasons I do not have to list. You know what it feels like cus your brains are probably going crazy too now. We’ve gotta hang in there people. We’ll tide this over together.
The things I stuff in my brain for prelims and A Levels will be flung out once they’re over. So what’s the point of even stuffing in the first place. It’s illogical. Think about it. It is seriously a stupid thing to do. But I have to do it anyhow. Yes, please give me all the wishes I need. I promise I’ll use them well. HAHAHA!
This girl has gone crazy.
I attended R-CUBE ’08 today. And it brings back memories of my own R-CUBE. How we prepared for the event right from the start to the very day itself. How it turned out to be a huge success because of help from everyone. How lame Zhili and Justin were. The videos are hilarious. Anyway, on Friday, the floorballers hanged out together and mer’s captain surprise was undeniably fun (and spastic. What’s new?)
Do not tell me now what u really wanna say. Hold back. Just wait.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
It’s been a long time. I’m back. If u visit often, u’d realize my previous post’s been deleted. Yes, for a good reason of course. I’m happy that the mini spat has ceased because it was rather immature don’t u think? Even I feel that way about myself retaliating. I guess both teams just wanted to defend their CCAs. That is a good thing. To love your CCA and stand up for it.
Last week we watched the finals for both the girls and guys floorball matches. It was fast, aggressive, intense, furious, bloody, sweaty and tragic. I can’t believe MJ guys lost. It was such a pity. However, both MJ and RJ were equally matched this time and RJ had a deserving win because they fought so hard and surprised us all with their aggression, ability and will. The semi-finals between VJ and YJ was even more tragic. VJ had two own goals. If not they’d win. As for the girls, the MJ team was undeniably the strongest and most deserving team. After the finals, it was prize presentation time. I remember how noob we were. Just seated on the floor, not knowing what to do when they said ‘In fourth place, NJC.’ It was comical.
The ride home with fred, louis, kinphang, jianhong and gary was full of laughter.
Gary: Don’t you think Mr Harry Tiew looks like Daniel Radcliffe?
Me: Huh? What?!
Gary: Daniel Radcliffe… the Harry Potter guy.
Me: No la.
Gary: Harry looks like Harry.
Guys burst out laughing. All he needs is a scar on his head.
Me: HAHAHA!
Gary: Don’t u think so? His has this pointer. It’s like his wand.
Me: Shut up. Everybody laughs crazily.
Kinphang: Gary, her hair stands are like crossed one over another. (in Chinese)
Me: What did u say about me?
Gary: Your hair is very messy.
Me: I know.
Relaises that my fringe is full of perspiration and is really tangled.
Kinphang: I can play tic tac toe in it.
Me: Oh my goodness kinphang…
I miss the times we cheer for one another. ‘NJ on 3. 1,2,3, NJ!’ I miss the times on the bus on the way to Republic Poly or Tampines. The fun, laughter joy and love. No one can take that away from us. No one.
I hate school. Absolutely.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Today’s match… hmm… I don’t really wanna talk about it. Let’s concentrate on the next match, girls. It ain’t over yet, yo! Hahaha. Thanks to all the supporters who cheered for our team all the way with such gusto and enthusiasm. I believe they were all feeling extremely intense while watching the game because that’s how the girls felt while watching the guy’s match on Monday. My ride home took 50 minutes. Kinphang’s ride took about 1 hour too. I can’t imagine how long it would take for Louis to get home. I think it’ll probably take 1 hour and 40 minutes? That’s insane.
Anyway, here’s a poem that inspires me:
Don’t quit when the tide is the lowest
For it is about to turn
Don’t quit over doubts and questions
For there’s something u may learn
Don’t quit when the night is the darkest
For it’s just a while till dawn
Don’t quit when u’ve run the farthest
For the race is almost won
Don’t quit when the hill is the steepest
For your goal is almost nigh
Don’t quit, for u’re not a failure
Until u fail to try.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
NJC vs VJC: 7-3. A life-defining moment, a turning point, a spectacular miracle has descended upon the njc floorball girls who have sacrificed one and a half years of sweat, drops of tears and some blood and a bucket full of love, just to claim the much coveted title of top 4! My goodness, you would say. How did they do it? My friend, it’s not surprising, considering how much effort the team has put in. We have poured our heart and soul to the team and promised each other that we’ll strive hard. This is all worth it girls. We have done it. We have proven that there ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough and ain’t no river wild enough to keep us away from stepping up to challenges. I am so proud of us! Last night, I was in euphoria. I kept smiling to myself as I thought of the love we have for one another. From playing floorball, to watching Aristal, to hanging around in the canteen in the mornings, during breaks and lunches, to attending lectures together. what word could more aptly describe us that the word ‘family’. I love every one of u for different reasons and I believe u know why. Like I said, ‘we don’t need words to ‘ know how each of us is feeling. That’s because as a team we share the same sentiments, the same goals, the same aspirations, the same love : ) ’. We shall stick together through thick and thin, ride the stormy oceans and sail the smooth seas.
It’s a privilege to have RedSports reporting on our match, especially when we are placed in such good light and awesome poses. However, the part ‘It was seen that nothing mattered much more than the match as even when NJC #19 tripped by accident, she simply picked herself up and continue bravely with the match’ is not true. The opponent pushed me. But, obviously I did carry on playing immediately. Haha!
For the report ‘Victory as National Junior College overcome Victoria JC 7-3’, please click here http://redsports.sg/2008/07/12/njc-vjc-floorball/.
I am so proud of my liners! I think we played well today. Let’s strive harder, keep the faith and optimism, avoid complacency and try to score this fri!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
The impending match will determine our fate. It’s the match that makes all the difference. Scared? Excited? I can’t choose an appropriate emotion cus they’re mangled and intertwined feelings. I guess I’m just feeling both simultaneously. Yet, I choose not to believe in fate. We are in control of our future. There is no predetermined result. The time has come for us to give our best. Soon, the future will be present and the present will be history. We’ve got to make that history count. We’ve got to be able to celebrate on it.
You told me not to give up on anything I do. I made a promise and I shall keep it.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Today was horrid. I hate almost every aspect of today.
1) My SAT scores are miserable.
2) I didn’t realize it was Friday. I packed my bag for Wednesday, thinking it was indeed a Wednesday and was without my essential notes and worksheets.
3) I didn’t bring my water bottle and was dehydrated during econs lecture.
4) Throughout math lesson, I could not concentrate because all my effort was channeled to controlling my breathing patterns. Somebody’s cologne and body odour combusted to form a real stink and I was seated right behind him.
5) I had no idea GP lesson had been cancelled so I waited for everyone in the classroom for 15 minutes like an idiot.
6) A teacher accused me for smuggling gummy bears into the library. Though that was my intention, I was scared out of my wits. Thankfully Zhili saved me from that potential shit I could have gotten into.
7) I lost control of my fatigue for many lessons. I just went plonk on the table.
8) My H3 grades are disappointing.
9) The gravity model project is cancelled?! What a waste of my precious time.
Anyway, I’ve had a marvelous time training with the floorballers today. I’ve fallen in love with my liners! Let me introduce them: Sueping (kungfu panda), Yini (the wonder woman) and Cat (sexy cat). Sueping has violent tendencies. She’s like a bulldozer, fast, sturdy and lethal. Watch out people. Huizhen, you’re is next in line man. Yini is a woman of steel. Zhili and I were talking about how strong and resilient she is. I’ve a lot of respect for her cus her back injury and knee injury will never dampen her passion and determination for floorball. Cat is ultra sexy, calm, cool and confident on court. Her shots are awesome too!
So, although I had every reason to be pissed off, these are the people that cheered me up and made my day :)
Sunday, June 22, 2008
The holidays have unfortunately come to an abrupt end before I could accomplish anything substantial. The day is too short, period. I haven’t done my homework. (except for a few miserable hypothesis testing questions and chem questions that are mostly left blank). I haven’t done what I had planned to do: sketch the ideas that frequently occupy in my mind, arrange my cupboard (yes, everything’s simply piled and chucked aside only to be discovered eons later), read my TIME mags, listen to my old cds. Basically, I haven’t relaxed.
Everyday, I reach home, physically drained, unmotivated to study. When I sleep, floorball’s mostly on my mind. I dream about gameplay, running after the ball, protecting the ball, getting ready to shoot, calling defenders by the boards. On Thursday morning, I dreamt about training at acs barker when I have not even gone for training. It was about 4am when I woke up from my dream and there I was, lying in bed, feeling all sweaty as though I had an exhausting session. Anyway, I thoroughly enjoy my baths and sleeping time, mostly because that’s when I’m alone with my thoughts and when I feel revitalized.
I tried playing ‘who has the biggest brain’ on Facebook today. I wanted to beat Jianhong’s score. Hahaha. It was impossible. I simply remained stagnant at the same scores. It’s so absurd that Jianhong was in my primary 3 and 4 class. I’ve tried my best to recall him but nothing comes out of it. I only remember having fun with Mer, influencing her to do naughty things, getting her to hate Chinese, climbing fences and bullying teachers. That sounds so unlike me, I know. But they were surely fun times. And now, being with Mer again just makes me feel so lucky. Anyway, I tried playing ‘Scramble’ on Facebook. It’s like a mutation of ‘Scrabble’ and ‘Boggle’. I accepted William’s challenge, thinking it would a breeze for me. But, I ended up playing so noobishly, scoring a miserable 8 points for one of the rounds while he scored 31? Uurghhhh. It wasn’t as though it was a beginner’s uncertainty of the game. I was given 5 chances. FIVE! And I kept losing all 5 rounds (though I played better in the last round scoring 30, but he topped it with 50 :( ). But i plan to challenge Trent and see how it goes. I shall find my niche game and do well in it. For now, I shall just admit I’m a loser in such intellectual games.
This week has been strange. I’ve felt so many different emotions and I’m trying to sort them out. Sometimes, I get tired doing so, turning my heart to steel seems like the best option. There are so many things plaguing my mind. U know how I felt, yet u still do it, over and over. I’m turning my back, once again.
I love talking to u too, I just realized.
Friday, June 13, 2008
JC life isn’t easy. Ip one and two were merely transition stages. Yes, it was sheer fun. We played almost everyday, drowned ourselves in each other’s company, shared secrets and gossiped and so on. These 2 years have, however, proven to be really challenging.
Firstly, taking on floorball is exhausting, requires a whole lot of discipline and energy, but rewarding. Now, I find myself having to step up to new challenges, fighting my insecurities, just taking on the world bit by bit.
Secondly, coping with my subject combi BCME has been mentally tiring and boring. I don’t know how to express my dissatisfaction. Friends tell me it’s interesting, that I’m just being negative, that I should learn to just accept my decision and mug for it. They don’t understand the internal struggle within – how I totally hate chemistry let alone biochemistry, how I hate reading about atoms and not being bale to fathom how people even came up with the terminology ‘atoms’ or ‘operons’ or what have u. I obviously wasn’t an avid science student. I did much better in humanities. So why did I freaking choose the sciences? It was not a choice. On the day we had to register our subjects, I simply stared at the screen and it took my less than 5 seconds to click for BCME. I seriously have no idea why I made that decision. Some people already made their decisions long before JC1 started. For me, I never gave it much thought or any thought for that matter. At that time, it didn’t seem important to me. I never considered the consequences of the action. It came by and passed me by as an ordinary decision – like that of drinking pepsi or cola. Now, as the reality sinks in, I regret my decision. I wish I could veto it (like how US vetoes stuff) or turn back time or extend the hours of the day (like Hermoine’s cool time turner gadget).
Thirdly, taking H3 econs is no easy task. At times, I feel unworthy of being a H3 student. I do have the passion for econs. I enjoy the topics I’m learning. I want a career in econs. But, my passion doesn’t translate into solid work – readings, proper research, looking up on statistics, reading the economist (hah). I want them to materialize. Yet, I’m a number 1 procrastinator. Maybe it’s because I prioritize other things above econs. For example, I love watching movies. Nowadays, my movie routine has been disrupted for many reasons. Basically, I love watching sad movies, poignant, moving, heartrending love stories that send a chill up your spine, to your throat and your brain. I love Victorian period movies – pride and prejudice, emma, the forsyte saga to name a few. YES, I am a romantic. As you can see, other hobbies are top of the agenda. The rest fall below.
Fourthly, friendships are hard to juggle. It’s good to talk things over once in a while with each other about relationships. Considering the events that have just occurred, it has dawned on me that life can be really complicated at times. Trying to maintain platonic friendships and yet trying to avoid offending the other party are certainly difficult tasks to handle. For now, I’m just dealing with whatever comes.
Anyway, it’s an uncanny coincidence! Justin Har is in my tuition class? We seem to always bump into each other?! Hah.
Only the songs in my player that genuinely reflect my thoughts are those that I actually listen to. Other than that, they’re just mere noises to accompany me on the train, bus and books.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
I don’t care who sees. I don’t care who tells who. It’s perplexing. I don’t care if u are zzz-hello-me (the three in one) or you are all simply individual coward beings. If u wanna make a comment, leave a name for goodness sake. What’s the point of ranting without basis and without an identity? At least if u have some criticism, execute it well and I might applaud u for your courage and constructiveness. However, that’s just a might. Usually, your comments leave me unfazed. It’s amusing though. At least, you give me a topic to blog about or a mere topic for discussion among friends. Other than that, you’re just a tag - insignificant and worthless. Judging by the tags, u must be a girl (or girls) to dwell in such petty matters.
Aside from such unimportant matters, yesterday was a blast.
We played ij again. It was a fine game. Not good. Not bad. (4-2).
Floorball Party @Sam’s house cum mr tong’s farewell.
Mr Tong did not turn up though. However, especially exciting was the foosball match between ip girls and mainstream girls, and later mainstream guys. We ended each match as though we had just played a real floorball match, all high, perspiring and tired. Pris, Zhen and I also took pictures in between because we had no interest in playing hide and seek. Coach was supposed to help us take pictures but in the end, he also wanted to join in the fun of taking timer photos. It was really fun because we had 2 cameras and had to look into both cameras simultaneously!
There was food galore! Sueping’s brownies. Mer’s and jenna’s chicken wings. Fried rice. Drinks. Agar agar. Nuggets. Seaweed chicken. Onion rings. Sausages (which some random guy stole from our party). Hangman was hilarious. In particular, ‘follow the blade’. ‘ollo’ was already so obvious but coach was still kinda clueless. Hah.
I reached home at around 11.30. Thankfully, Gary walked me home because the road was dark and full of possibilities. Thanks Gary!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
The past 2 weeks have been undeniably and unsurprisingly tiring. Floorball trainings have taken everyday of the week except Wednesday and Sunday. Very soon, we’ll be on full gear and trainings are gonna be a helluva more exhausting (but fulfilling, I must emphasize). These days, NTU is like our second home. I forsee ACS Barker will be our new one soon. For me, the past week has been floorball, lunch, SATs, floorball, dinner, SATs continuously. That’s bound to change, now that I’ve finally tackled my SATs this Saturday.
Aristal was a splendid night. The choreographies were amazing though I admit some were just plain weird. More precisely, it was splendid because of these wonderful people :)
Friendly with VJC (2 June)
4-3. We played 4 periods. The usual would be 3 periods. If that had been the case, it would have been 3-0. A clean win for us. Thankfully, in the last shift, Huizhen made an awesome wrist pass to my blade such that I could get a direct shot at the goal, away from the goalie. These are the kinda shots we are aiming for, assisting one another with, and carefully perfecting them time after time. The awful reality is that there isn’t much time left to keep learning. By now, we should be already rooted in the basics of the game.
PSC Test (3 June)
For 4 hours, my legs were cramped and numb, my hands were shivering, my mind was screaming and my stomach was growling so annoyingly. Still, patterns are fun and stimulating!
CDAC camp (2 to 4 June)
Some kids were adorable but some were exceptionally irritating. Thank goodness my patience had set in or my fury would have simply translated into a punch in the face.
SAT Reasoning Test (7 June)
I reason that I need not visit the Artic or Antartica to know how cold it would be cus I already have. I dare say the aircon was gusting below 12 degrees. My entire body was frozen. Now, I truly appreciate the wonders of a jacket. There I was, in the middle of the badminton hall, shivering like a mouse, trying desperately to shade my OAS sheet but my hands refused to move any faster. The constant patter of the rain on the tin roof of the hall kept distracting me from my thoughts. Time’s up. I prepared to make a quick dash for the door. Damn it. The invigilators spent 20 mins consolidating the papers. Once out of the hall, I heaved a sigh of relief from the cold and the anxiety. My skin was still as cold as that of a reptile though.
CIP at Gracehaven (9 June)
It was splendidly tiring. The company was splendid while the painting job was tiring. I have so far inhaled 47493576321 toxic substances. I met the same boy who wanted to kill me with a floorball stick last session. Only this time round, he wanted to kill gimlim and me with a basketball.
Lastly, I just wanted to mention the trio – Gary, Kinphang, Louis. They are unbelievably funny, simple and incredible friends. Gary is the guy who is obsessed with his hair. Even on court, he would unconsciously sweep, flick or meddle with his hair. Kinphang is the gangster wannabe. He walks with his shoulders crouched over, his strides are wide and apart, and waves his stick in one hand. Louis is a shaggy dog. A tall and fast shaggy dog. Everytime I talk to him, I have to lift my neck up really high while he cranes his. Anyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUIS!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Though the holidays are bound to slip away faster than I will ever realise, I do not regret, for a single moment, spending them with the floorballers.
Moments to remember:
Monday, May 26, 2008
The two grueling weeks spent on mugging for Common Tests certainly deserves me a break. You cannot imagine how elated I am. The moment the clock reached 4.42pm on Friday, my mind had already spontaneously switched to ‘play’ mode. I hardly checked through my h3 econs paper. The last three minutes were spent in agony, hoping time would past faster, thinking about the immense fun I would be having with the floorballers. I am truly grateful that they waited till 4.45pm for our test to end. Meanwhile, they kept themselves occupied by playing hide and seek and constantly amused themselves. We had an awesome time at raffles place! It’s the first time the floorballers ever went out as a group. On Saturday, I met William at the Esplanade and he thought I was going to the library to mug… Omgosh, what’s wrong with you, man? I had barely been liberated from Common Tests 24 hours ago and you expect me to be studying?!?! HELLO?! Don’t you know how much the holidays mean to Aretha?
I foresee that for more than half of this month, I’ll be spending my time with the floorballers. The other half of the time will be preparing for A levels. That leaves me with just a lil’ amount of time to myself. Unlike previous holidays where I had all the time in my hands to watch movies, draw, play games, go out etc, this holiday is going to be entirely different. It’s time to buck up. It’s time to chuck the trivial matters aside. It’s time to stop petty arguments and silly infatuations. It’s time to have confidence in doing well for nationals. It’s time to start being Aretha.
Life is so unpredictable (cliché sentence I know). Teresa was telling me how she thinks that life is just an intersection of choices. I couldn’t agree more. Everyone’s decision ultimately affects ours. We might think our choices are separate from one another, that we have autonomy over our lives. I beg to differ. Our actions affect people in varying degrees, and likewise, theirs affect ours too. Often, we tell ourselves, if only this hadn’t happen, then….blah blah blah. But why are we so concerned over how things should turn out? I truly believe we are not given the authority to judge how things should or should not be. We can only work towards making things happen and if they don’t, then that’s life. Our life has been paved such that there are situations and instances that make us grow, that make us better people.
Today, the floorball girls exchanged horror movies like ‘A Tale of Two Sisters’, ‘Dark Water’, ‘The Others’ and ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose’. Most of us were cringing while Mer and Pris continued telling their stories so animatedly. I hate watching horror movies. I enjoy scary-psychoey-murdery-mysterious-unexplained thrillers, but definitely nothing associated with the supernatural. Sometimes, I marvel at how paranormal investigators actually desire to seek for the fourth-dimension while others are desperately trying to avoid any contact with the unexplained world. Anyway, last night, I watched 12 episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. back to back. I laughed till my stomach hurt. It was so comical, I tell you.
Anyway, I can’t believe American Idol is over. I’m so disappointed with the results. I was rooting for David Archuleta and I was so confident that it was a knock-out. C’mon America, how could you not vote for the sweet mama’s boy and his melodious, swooning, all-star voice? He amazed the crowds with his take on Imagine by John Lennon.
Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world
You still have my vote, David Archie.
My dream will always be a house by the lake. The rustling of the willows and casuarinas. The placid water. The still and tranquil atmosphere as though time has stopped for you to enjoy the beauty of nature, to treasure life as it is. No competition. No masquerade. No urgency. Simply just you and the world in perfect harmony.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Jubilation! I’ve conquered Bio! 2 more papers left.
Often, when things do not go our way, we blame it on the archaic cosmological notion called fate. Or when things turn out seemingly well, we attribute it to fate, as though we rightfully deserved it in the first place. I’d like to think there is no such thing. Things happen for a reason. People make it happen. There is no such thing as a windfall or a being cursed with seven years of bad luck. Things turn out the way they are because of our actions. You do well only because you have put your best foot forward. Your friends love you only because you love them back. Life treats you well only because you been a good person.
Do u believe in fate?
Play just keeps playing on and on….
I won’t make the same mistake. I’m so to blame.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
I stared listlessly at the ceiling of the hall when the time was up. I didn’t even realize my paper had been collected. I felt like I was a cation in a sea of delocalised electrons (as in I was surrounded by so many people, too much chem makes me blog like that). Studying seems so futile. I can’t believe my organic chem knowledge wasn’t helpful in solving that one and only miserable organic chem question. So when I reached home, I slept 5 hours straight, woke up at 6.30pm. Went shopping with my mum till 11pm. I didn’t start on Bio at all. Retail therapy cheered me up. Hence, today, I was all recharged for studying Bio. Actually, it’s been easy studying Bio. I thought I wouldn’t be able to remember past chapters. However, it’s a breeze so far. But I recognise studying and taking the exam are of entirely different natures. Often, I end up doing really badly. I hate this knowledge of getting poor results. Besides, H3 econs isn’t making it better. I’m just gonna crap my way. Time’s running out, especially now SOME people wanna shift forward the date of the test. Moreover, Bio SPA is way important.
Wish me luck for everything I have yet to conquer. I can’t wait to touch my floorball stick. The feel, the grip, the friends. Wish time would pass faster, yet I wish otherwise.
So glad the tension and awkwardness are gone, that u understand what it means to be a real friend after all. And i can only thank u.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
NJ-MI friendly. 10-3. Yes. That’s the score. Get your facts straight before you unleash your spite and doubt. The victory’s ours to savour. So don’t stick your nose in thinking you can humiliate us. So u don’t believe that floorball girls have the ability, the determination, the essence of a true sport? Please check yourself in the mirror.
The win and the goals are not important. Everyone who contributed to the game deserves praise. We totally owned the court yesterday with our determination, skill and teamwork. Though the forwards we dead tired trying to score, we managed to contain the opponents and relieved the defenders’ burden. All I believe is that we have a true chemistry as a team and that we will go far this time round. So gear up.
A truly wonderful film! I used my free movie voucher from the cyber wellness quiz. It’s amazing how royalty’s life can be so complicated, their mind so twisted and their motives so vicious. The finale of the beheading of the queen was absolutely unanticipated. Nevertheless, she deserved it. Her brother’s death was so unjustified. That’s history.
This is what I’ve been stuffing myself with recently.
I miss jiejie!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GARY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NUT!
It’s been an eventful week. Last Saturday, we had Chem SPA. So Chem’s tackled. Next in line is Bio SPA which happens to fall during our common test period AND on the same day as H3 Econs! No…..
Yesterday. 2 tests. Econs. Math. Consecutively. I wished my brain cells were working beTter for Econs. Talking about Econs, I just feel like slapping Jason. Now we have an extra burden to handle in the June Holidays: calculate the G using the Gravitational Model for 30 to 60 countries in groups of maximum 5 people. Thanks Jason, thanks. Our tentative group consists of 7 people. Who cares? It’s not like this project is gonna give me a grade. William and I were saying we should just tell Mr Lee, “Yeah, in groups of 7 right? Isn’t that what you said???”
I feel like sawing off my leg. My shin splint and ankle sprain is reinforcing one another. Sometimes, an excruciating pain just comes and goes. It’s so erratic and uncomfortable. My sprints are getting lousier. My legs just refuse to carry me with the wind. I want to saw off my leg. Someone help me?
Am I two persons in one? There are days I feel so happy about life, school, friends, the world. Then there are some when I just feel like burning up the world for being so fixated on material wealth, on superficial things, on contrived friendships. And that is when my mood really starts to swing.
Mer and her ookshop cca. Huizhen and her 74. Bingxin and her silly statements. Pris and her crazy ideas. I love floorball.
I know when u look. But u don’t know I know.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure? measure a year
in daylights,
in sunsets,
in midnights,in cups of coffee,
in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
in five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure a year in a life?
how about, love?
measure in love...
seasons of love...
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,
five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan,
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,
how do you measure a life of a woman or a man?
in truths that she learned,
or in times that he cried,
in bridges he burned,
or the way that she died,
its time now, to sing out though,
the story never ends,
let's, celebrate remember a year in a life, of friends,
remember the love...
seasons of love...
In Diapers - Report Cards
In Spoke Wheels - In Speeding Tickets
In Contracts - Dollars
In Funerals - In Births
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Figure
A Last Year On Earth?
How Do You Figure
A Last Year On Earth?
Seasons of....LOVE....
Friday, April 18, 2008
A Series of Unfortunate and Fortunate Events
Now the bad stuff….
First, We lost 7-2 to Ngee Ann Poly yesterday. Yes that certainly calls for improvement. So glad the soccer guys won TJC.
Second, I have shin spleen on both legs. It must be the Ngee Ann Poly slippery court floor that made me skid around like an Eskimo.
Now the good stuff…
First of all, we trashed RJ 4-1 last Wednesday. But we shouldn’t get our hopes high cus they played half of the juniors and half of the seniors. Nevertheless, it still says something about us. We improved. There’s still room for more improvement and I think we can all go far if we put in our best effort for every training.
Second, I got an A for Project Work. Thank goodness our efforts weren’t in vain. I think I should really applaud my group members. We started off real shaky, only deciding on doing Entertainment as our topic in April and hardly meeting up in between to discuss. Most of our communication was through MSN and we nothing really materialized till late August. Congrats y’all!
Third, I’m gonna get a gold for NAPFA!
Fourth, the H3 econs test has been cancelled. YAY! I’m jumping for joy. I think huizhen and I are H3 noobs. We didn’t even know the test was supposed to be this week.
Fifth, there is a group of enthusiastic boys (trackers) who wanna continue the R-CUBE legacy. Alright man. It’s because of us. Hah.
Please stop this elaborate charade of feigned friendship. The motives. The lies. They’re so telling.
My current favourite songs are playing. The Click Five songs are amazing but the band itself isn't very appealing.
You make me smile. I don’t care who tells who.
Friday, April 4, 2008
I conquered my 2.4km component, clocked in my best timing of 12.04min and I’m really satisfied. Today’s training was productive and fun. I treasure the times spent with my fellow floorballers. Whether it is bonding sessions or tiring trainings, spending it with a merry, fun-loving group of people, is worth your time. So we have our CHICKY times, our weirdo times, our gossiping times, our guy discussion times. Every precious bit of conversation is etched in my mind and is there to stay for eternity. Floorball keeps me going. Without it, it’s like having no engine to gear up. I can’t do my work unless I’m occupied with something else. My school life would feel meaningless, muggerish, and monotonous unless I had a sport to keep up my adrenaline on things. It’s only when I ponder about such matters that I realize once my JC life is over, that engine would be gone.
We’re gonna start our lives afresh. The girls and their beauty consciousness, the guys and their bald heads, and I will be walking down nothingville. How’s life treating you? They ask. The answer is I don’t know.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it on my own, face the world alone, guarding my own fears. I don’t know if I will be as determine as I am now, ready to take on challenges, proving to myself that I am superwoman. I don’t know where I’ll be 10 years down the road. I don’t know if you would be there for me.
Honestly, there are a thousand things on my list of what I desire to do.
1) Be a CSI investigator. Tracing DNA, blood, tissues and solving mysterious crimes.
2) Be a Hollywood actress. Everyone wants to taste some fame but not drugs.
3) Be a gourmet chef. What can be tastier than your own food.
4) Be an American Idol judge. Who says I can’t wear tight fitting black tees?
5) Be a singer and songwriter. Free-style is what I like.
6) Be a humanitarian. Nothing beats showing your love to the less fortunate.
HEY AMBITIOUS. Don’t dream so hard. My greatest wish is to fulfill the 6th goal.
I saw Shuming at Bugis. He was damn funny. He went ‘AAR- REE- TAR!’. I lifted my head up in total shock. Hee.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
You appear everywhere. In my dreams, my nightmares, my fantasies, my sight, my peripheral visions, my shadows, my glances. Why?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
FLOORBALLAHOLIC!
Hee hee. So fun to say it! I tried saying it many times over and got really confused after a while.
There are 4 funny conversations that happened during intra-school floorball that I remember so vividly.
Jun Long: I want a doughnut
Me: Okay, I take for u ah.
Jun Long: Okay.
Me: As in I use my hands.
Jun Long: Oh. Erm, you washed your hands already?
Me: Yeah… (very matter of factly tone)
Jun Long: Okay, I believe u.
Me:
looks at hand I finds that there are black rubber bits from the field on my hand. Calmly puts hand behind back as Jun Long takes out his money to pay, hoping he didn’t see a thing.
Me: Justin, do you wanna buy a doughnut? Buy la, buy la.
Justin:
Walks towards huizhen and I. Kelly follows behind. Don’t want.
Kelly: Wo yao. Got what flavours?
Huizhen and I: Oh there’s chocolate and banana, cinnamon… strawberry. The chocolate and banana is very nice. People say its nice to eat. You want?
Kelly: Wo yao na ge strawberry de.
Points and smiles.
Me:
Holds on to box of strawberry with lid open. Laughs uncontrollably and fails miserably to hide laughter.
Kelly: How much?
Huizhen: One fifty.
Me: Okay, take a plastic bag and choose which one you want.
Kelly:
Picks at stack of plastic bags about 5 times before managing to finally pick one out.
Me:
Laughs uncontrollably again.
Kelly:
Chooses doughnut.
Me: You will smudge the cream if you put it in a plastic bag.
Kelly: Nehmind.
Xianhui:
Walks into floorball court breathless. 1 kg of sugar!
Mer: Huh?
Me: He said ‘1 kg of sugar’. There’s a team called ‘1 kg of sugar’.
Mer: OH MY GOD! I wondered what he was talking about. I thought he said after he played floorball, it feels as if he lost 1 kg of sugar.
Me: WHAT?!
Both of us:
Laugh non-stop.
Me: Hey, why are you all leaving already? We still have lots of benches to carry you know?
Samuel: Cus we have to follow the juniors to buy sticks.
Me: Oh. Eeyer, then make us girls carry everything ah?
Samuel: Oh sorry la.
Samuel, Sukiat and some other guys and I walk down the canteen stairs and realize the juniors are already leaving towards to main gate.
Samuel: They are lefting already?
Me: What? Oh my goodness. They are leaving la!
Sukiat: We are righting.
It was such an ironic scenario yesterday. The seniors and juniors were trying to play basketball yesterday. Meanwhile, on the other side of the court, basketballers were trying to play floorball. Notice I said trying. Hahaha.
Sometimes, things are so complicated, absurd, unimaginable. Hi Play.
Sometimes, you give me the knowing look. Hi Know.
Sometimes, I’d rather be on my own. Hi World.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
I don’t believe that there is anyone else who could be more unfortunate than me this week. (Okay, don’t take it literally. I do understand that people in the world are dying, starving and so on.)
Before I begin,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUIZHEN!
Alright, for one, I did extremely badly for math test and I absolutely dread receiving my results because it’ll trigger the whole disappointed-in-myself cycle again. To think I practiced so hard for integration and totally got the whole concept, only to be unable to attempt the question due to the lack of time! RAH! I didn’t even finish reading the differential equations question and was practically writing some workings on the paper while reading it. I think it was total crap. I am total crap.
Second, Wednesday’s training caused me 2 grazes, a strained shoulder and 20 seconds of uncontrolled breathing. I cried because I thought I was going to die. No no, I was just scared that something might happen to me. But I felt so much better after crying and my breathing returned to normal. Phew!
Third, the fact is I am total crap again. Got a miserable 2 upon 17 for my econs essay test. I felt like crying at first. But what the heck, its just a test. Not A Levels. Therefore, not worth my tears. Besides, I don’t think I’ll be switching classes. Heh heh.
Fourth, my computer switched off by itself as I was doing my Econs Seminar Topic. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs but it was way past midnight and I definitely had no intention of waking up the neighbourhood. So I let out a silent scream in my head as I switched the computer back on. Thank goodness, the documents were recovered. I was pleasantly relieved. So so so so relieved. Well, that isn’t an unfortunate event but could almost qualify as one if otherwise had happened.
Fifth, you are such a weird person. Okay, this isn’t unfortunate. It’s just strange. You stare and stare non-stop. Like you are curious about something, I have no idea?! You talk to me so normally like nothing happened, like we’re good friends or something. And now, you just go back to staring. Huh? What’s going on? It’s not like I didn’t take the initiative to talk to you or smile at you that day. I did. And I do think you can be a nice person. I don’t mind being friends if only you can be as cordial as that day. And by that, I mean not staring anymore. Cus that is just strange. I’m seriously confused.
So my week has been pretty awful. But nothing beats winning a free movie ticket. Cyber wellness questions are cool. They entitle you to win tickets. NJC librarians are cool too! They tell you the answer. Whee! (pls refer to huizhen’s blog for pic of movie ticket. Haha.)
I am on a chocolate binge.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Check out my 2 all time favourite songs by Boyzone. I feel like I'm no longer a teeny bopper. I miss being one. I remember how I used to be so crazy over Blue, Lee Ryan, Westlife, Boyzone, Michael Learns to Rock, Spice Girls, Jesse Mccartney and the list never ends. I guess there's a phase when we look at these singers with such admiration, hoping that we weill be able to know them personally. I love boybands. Their voices touch your heart. It gives you this resonance, this peace with the world, this bright outlook of life. Those were the days. Nostalgia all over again.
There are times I feel so bored of life, especially a routine life in this crucial A levels year. All I can think about is doing well for and scoring straight As. The thing is, that takes a lot of hard work and determination. Everything in life requires such. Be it building relationships, academic goals or even a simple game of floorball. We have to drill our minds with perseverance, the hunger to snatch the ball, the hunger for accurate and precise shots and most of all… the hunger to win.
I should count myself blessed. Blessed with wonderful classmates (nut, gimlim, john, ybee, biq, gen) that you can joke with, laugh with, eat with, poke at, snigger at, step on, make fun of (you get the idea).
Blessed with fantastic and funny floorball girl friends that you can go totally crazy with, ease you mind with, play floorball with, go through tiring endless trainings with, feel the ups and downs of a sportsperson with and feel the adrenaline for competition with.
Blessed with amazing and quirky floorball guy friends like (gary, louis, kinphang, trent) that you can always rely on and totally has your back, allows you to listen in to their conversations, always picks up balls for you, filled with humility and contentment and are hardworking model students for you to follow.
Blessed with great H3 classmates (huizhen, ybee, wilbert, jason, shufang) that you can complain about the workload with, complain about the lack of time to ruch essays, crack our heads over concepts with and of course discuss econs stuff with. I wish cat had stayed on. That'll be one more person i can place my burdens on. Heh.
I feel like jumping around. I guess I’m just drowning in the ecstasy of the March holidays that is only a week long and hoping it’ll last for ever. I don’t ever want this feeling to go away. This is our last chance to enjoy before we zoom full-throttle to tackle the A levels together. BUT, WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER! We started out together; we’ll end it together. I miss that one-and-only incredible, marvelous, splendid, mind-blowing dance night. It’ll be something that I’ll treasure forever and ever (so cliché, but so true) cus it was a time when our lives were so uncomplicated, free from talk and full of surprises. I can’t wait for a day like that again.
Today's NTU-MOE Econs Seminar was quite good. The food in the second break was yummy. Eclairs! Poor Shufang was sniffling throughout and she felt really sleepy from the medicine i think. Most of the time was spent eating sweets and moaning and groaning about the uncomfortable chairs.
I am dying for floorball camp! (needless to say)
I love floorball, heart and soul, absolutely.
I love econs, mind and thoughts, completely.
I love sad movies, tears and joy, entirely.
I love my friends, strongly and wildly, totally.
PRETTY MOMENT CAPTURED
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Blogging on a blue slip
These 3 days, I’ve been in school for a mere 3 hours each. I’ve realized staying at home leaves you with lotsa time in your hands. But being my usual self, I always fail to treasure free time and end up dazing or dozing off. Murphy’s Law. I never knew stomach flu was such a nuisance. Now, I’ll have to rest well and hopefully wake up with sufficient time to mug both bio and econs or I can just forget about passing both tests.
18 years… yet I still have not found the slightest feeling of accomplishment in my life. I think this is what life is for me. I can never feel contented. Enough is never enough. We tell ourselves that this is all that we need. Lovers tell each other that they one another’s everything. Friends promise they’ll stand by one another through the joy and the pain. Is this ever true? Seems like old friendships are bound to wither while new ones blossom. I wish I could play with all my friends like there’s no tomorrow, that friendships will be treasured till eternity.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
I followed the newspapers and TV on the escape of JI leader Mas Selamat with eager anticipation of news that he has been already nabbed. But to my dismay, he’s still lurking around. That’s a scary thought.
Rumours that he fled to Indonesia provides some comfort in that he’s no longer in Singapore. Yet, deep down, I sincerely hope that he still is somewhere here, drowning in the misery of his shadows, and that the Singapore police will finally put him back in the prison he deserves. It is such a pity for something like that to taint our reputation of a stringent, effective and corruption-free government. It seems like it takes a catastrophe for the nation to unite in such matters.
Yesterday’s training was by far one of the most productive, efficient, sweat-it-all-out trainings. Both the guys and girls executed the drills with eager determination and persistence and paid close attention to whatever Coach had said. I really think both our teams have the potential to improve and do well for Nationals. The boards were super efficient in bouncing the balls back on court and saved us the energy and trouble of bending down and picking up stray balls! YAY.
I have to brace myself for the coming muggerish week. Yucks.
Looking forward to the March holidays. Yipee!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
My life so far…
VALENTINE’S DAY, 14TH FEB
On this much awaited day, virtually everyone experienced the usual frenzy of receiving presents. So much for love. The dateless floorballers gathered at Chinese High poolside restaurant for dinner after training. The quality team bonding compensated the repulsive ‘restaurant’ food.
CHINGAY PREVIEW AND PARADE, 15TH AND 16TH FEB
4 pictures paint a word: fun
ROAD RUN, 22ND FEB
Let’s not talk about timings. It wasn’t really fun. I have lost interest in such lame school events, especially when it concerns house stuff. Eew. It was a mad rush down to NTU for training. I personally felt it was a productive session for me. We had our lunch at 4.30pm. Imagine that. Yes, it’s crazy I know. But similarly, having lunch at 3.30pm on Chingay days was pretty crazy too. The night was spent at Huijun’s house watching ratatouille. Rodentia like that and that of mickey mouse can seem pretty cute. But seeing a dead rat that had been run over by some vehicle with its head dislocated and fresh blood streaming from the neck can almost immediately diminish the cuteness we see in them on tv.
At times I wonder why the world is such a strange place. Here I am, living comfortably in Singapore. Yet, every second, someone in a place not very far away, is being killed, tortured, raped. Genocides. Unrest. Refugees displaced. Children looking for a grain of rice, a drop of water, a tinge of love. The world is so huge yet our hearts are so small in terms of love. Our humanity is diminished when we realize we have no bigger mission than ourselves.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
They just had to spoil my Chinese New Year mood with 2 tests this week. This year’s CNY ambience isn’t as festive as I have expected. Or maybe it is. Just that I hardly go out anymore all because the teachers keep drowning us with homework and little
stupid tests. Nowadays, life has become such a routine…
Wake up.
PT sometimes.
Absolutely boring lectures.
Looking at the clock wishing lunch time would come faster.
Finally, there’s lunch.
But back to boring tutorials.
And tutorials.
And some more.
…
Yes, school’s over!
Go to the library to sleep
Try to wake up and mug.
Training starts.
YAY, it’s fun. Sudden revitalization.
Training ends :(
Take the bus home.
Bathe! Yes! Finally!
Dinner + watch A BIT of tv.
Mug.
Mug.
Doze off.
Wake up and mug again.
Cannot take it anymore… sleep.
Wake up.
(Cycle repeats)
I am so looking forward to the rest of my life this year.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Sometimes in a dream, you may slip or feel yourself falling and usually wake up before you hit the ground. Sometimes in a dream, someone chasing you. Your heavy feet prevents you from running away fast enough but you often wake up before the person catches you. Sometimes in a dream, you find yourself flying high into the sky as though you are on top of things, undefeatable. Well, I believe your dreams are your thoughts. But not exactly because they are jumbled up. What u get is pretty much a patchwork of your memories that on the surface do not seem to make sense, but amazingly do if u look closer and figure it out.
School is really fun, minus the lectures and tutorial. Cus there is floorball and friends! YAY :) and if u do realise, I’m actually psychoing myself into thinking school is indeed fun. Yes it is okay! Did I mention how much I love sleeping and watching the OC? Hahaha. I’m gonna drift into lala land now and hopefully it’ll be overflowing with pretty pink cotton candy dreams.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you found that special thing
You're flying without wings
You find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cause who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete
And it's like flying without wings
'Cause you're m
